Reading "The art of being a goal-getter" on Oh Joy blog and I ran across this questions, "What are the things that you constantly think about wanting to do?" And well, its a good question. It was a question I wanted to stop, ponder, and come up with an answer for.
Honestly, for the longest time, I have wanted to be a freelance designer, writer/blogger, photographer (travel), and overall just badass creative genius type. I've always wanted to create artwork that would sell as well. And its not something that has just popped into my head. The itch to design and create has been constant for as long as I can remember.
I vividly remember one day at the age of about 13 around the time that I started painting. Nothing extravagant, mainly abstract shapes, colorful, and detailed. And a friend of mine came by to pick me up to go out and do something with my friends. At that moment I had the dread, the terrible feeling of pulling away from something you are loving and enjoying doing, to do something else. The somethin else is something that most normal teenagers want, to hang out with friends, but I had the feeling of wanting to instead just stay home alone and doodle with paint.
But then, as adolescence continued, social engagement continued, and my paint and canvases quickly were pushed to the side to make room for makeup, clothes, and school books.
Only now, at 26, am I finally finding the time and opportunities to delve back into these creative pursuits. Not that I have tons of time, but there is SOME that can be used for something else (home, cooking, fiance, and wedding planning keep me pretty busy).
But even now, the fear of what other things I could/should be doing with my time crowd out the development of these passions. I have to pay bills, by-golly. I need a "real job." Well, I hope I can do both, or transition slowly, we will see.
Either way, I should probably stop listening to the doubts, and start listening to the joy that I receive when I create.
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