The Inner Workings of an Introvert

I started a new job no more than two months ago and its been a very enlightening experience. One of my motivations for the move was to learn a little more about myself before the years flew by and the next thing I know I woke up and hadn't done anything adventurous or meaningful with my life. So I took a job that is significantly more focused on computer work and even a bit of programming.

I've always been a closet nerd and its something I've always wanted to explore. When I was much younger I would spend hours and hours into the wee hours of the night learning how to design webpages using HTML or editing photos using Photoshop. At the end of the day I just always craved expressing myself in a creative way and expressing myself in this virtual world we know as the World Wide Web.

When I started the new job I didn't realize all of the relationships I had built over years of work at my previous job would be replaced by a group of albeit wonderful people who do not know me and my weird quirkiness and unfortunate awkwardness.

I learned I was an introvert a few years ago and it opened up my eyes to some explanations behind quite a bit of my oddness. As an introvert, as much as I do love people, I don't necessarily seek it out. I live in a world of thoughts and questions and insights that live quietly inside of my head. And when other people are added into the mix the thoughts get a little louder and my stress levels increase as I try to over think my interaction with me and try to make myself likable.

Its a constant struggle but one that is well worth having. Wanting to work all alone and in my little world while also wishing I could be a more natural and easy going person. I do crave friendliness and acceptance and interaction but on a limited basis. And I love intricate detailed work but interspersed with creativity.

As an introvert it takes a little more time to build relationships but I believe that the ones I make become meaningful and lasting. They are an accumulation of, hopefully, hundreds of positive interactions, as brief as they might be.

Thanksgiving Reflections

I had a pretty wonderful Thanksgiving break. J+ laughs because every time we've hit a special day or milestone since the engagement (i.e. birthdays, Easter, Cinco de Mayo, Halloween...) I'll say "Hey babe! Next time it's X day we'll be married!" and he kissed me and says, "Yes, we will!" Oh, I love him.

But this Thanksgiving was just peaceful, and happy, and quiet, and amazing. J+ and I spent most days sleeping in then spending an hour or so talking about what we might do that day and drinking coffee, then maybe we would do something.

One of my favorite days we just went for a really long walk with the pups along a local river. The trees are changing colors and families were out exploring... and it was just perfect. 

New Job! Yay!

I knew this day was coming soon, I was feeling the need for change (just read some of my old blog posts) but it's hard to believe that its actually happening. It happened so fast! I found a new job that I start in just a few short days. The job is much more "tech" focused and computer oriented, so some might say its a big change. But, its something I've always been interested in!

From an early age I was a computer a-holic. And even today I love to spend hours learning new skills and tips for web design, graphic design, print design, and more. It's basically the digital canvas.

Also, with this new position I will finally be able to do some freelance work. I've been wanting to do that for awhile now but it was a sort of conflict of interest where I used to be. But I know it won't be easy. I need to start with a few good opportunities and hopefully get some momentum. But at least now I have the opportunity. 

What are the things that you constantly think about wanting to do?

Reading "The art of being a goal-getter" on Oh Joy blog and I ran across this questions, "What are the things that you constantly think about wanting to do?" And well, its a good question. It was a question I wanted to stop, ponder, and come up with an answer for.

Honestly, for the longest time, I have wanted to be a freelance designer, writer/blogger, photographer (travel), and overall just badass creative genius type. I've always wanted to create artwork that would sell as well. And its not something that has just popped into my head. The itch to design and create has been constant for as long as I can remember.

I vividly remember one day at the age of about 13 around the time that I started painting. Nothing extravagant, mainly abstract shapes, colorful, and detailed. And a friend of mine came by to pick me up to go out and do something with my friends. At that moment I had the dread, the terrible feeling of pulling away from something you are loving and enjoying doing, to do something else. The somethin else is something that most normal teenagers want, to hang out with friends, but I had the feeling of wanting to instead just stay home alone and doodle with paint.

But then, as adolescence continued, social engagement continued, and my paint and canvases quickly were pushed to the side to make room for makeup, clothes, and school books.

Only now, at 26, am I finally finding the time and opportunities to delve back into these creative pursuits. Not that I have tons of time, but there is SOME that can be used for something else (home, cooking, fiance, and wedding planning keep me pretty busy).

But even now, the fear of what other things I could/should be doing with my time crowd out the development of these passions. I have to pay bills, by-golly. I need a "real job." Well, I hope I can do both, or transition slowly, we will see.

Either way, I should probably stop listening to the doubts, and start listening to the joy that I receive when I create.

A little more about me

When I got hired for my first job out of college I knew I had a lot of work to do to prepare myself for the professional business world. Not only did I own only 1 pair of slacks, one button up shirt, and one jacket that didn't even come as a set suit with the slacks, but I did not own a nice watch (only took me 3 years, more on that later) and had no idea what to do with my hair, nails, or makeup.

So I was basically starting from scratch. My style was and probably always will be fairly tailored and simple. But the AE T's and my Nike shorts simply weren't going to cut it anymore. (OK, I wasn't THAT bad...) I wanted to be taken seriously and portray a sense of professionalism. So where do you begin? My first shopping haul came from JC Penny. (Remember I live in a small west Texas city) And if took care of me for about the first 6 months. Maybe it was the time at the desk, no longer having to walk 30 minutes to and from class 4 times a day, or my new steady boyfriend, but sadly, those JC Penny pieces slowly became more or less "inappropriate" work attire as my body began to fill out and those pieces no longer fit.

Back to square one, and $200 down, I shopped out Ross. To be honest, I still wear at least 2 of those shirt on a regular basis, and one of the Jackets (a Micheal Khors black mid-length peacoat) is still a staple in my closet. It sits next to the black Victoria's Secret clothing brand, traditional Peacoat, I've had since I was in high school which still gets plenty of use each winter season. So, first lesson here is that a basic black peacoat is always a wardrobe staple.

The $400 ross haul more or less set me for another 6 months, and I was slowly settling into my more or less stressful event coordinating and business focused job so things were going pretty smoothly for the most part. At this time, I had moved back to my hometown after college with a pretty great job opportunity, even though I had sworn to myself that I would never be back. But I was. And sadly I was one of the only ones.

Being one of only a handful of old friends living back in my hometown meant that the pressure to be stylish and have fancy accessories what not bad at all. (Compared to the sorority glam of the college campus and the big city nightlife  it was a relief!) So, did I get lazy about my going out wardrobe as well? You betcha'!

So, to summarize, one year down of my first big girl job and I had a sad wardrobe to show for it. Sure, bills were getting paid, but after all the bills of my costs of furnishing and filling my first solo apartment and starting to pay off those loans there was little to no room to go on any sort of shopping spree. I still had lots of work to do... 

About Me

Most of my accessory collection up to now has consisted of basic, basic, and basic. Mostly out of necessity (lack of funds), but some out of lack of creativity and risk tolerance. I always knew that there was a greater accessory world out there that I had yet to enter, but didn't know how and didn't have the funds. Although even now I still have plenty of bills to pay and student loans to pay off, I find there is some beautiful wiggle room of funds to allow me to invest in some glitter and gold to improve my wardrobe.

So, now to begin the experiments, successes, and failures of learning how to accessorize me. How do those women we all know who just seem to know how to look so together do it? I've learned over the years that those ladies typically either have plenty of money to experiment, or their look is the result of very calculated efforts. Since I don't have either, my goal is to find quality, affordable pieces that fit me, and my lifestyle, and help me feel more confident and stylish.

I grew up in West Texas. You could categorize my hometown as either a big town or small city (depends on your perspective) with about 90k population. This resulted in very limited shopping opportunities. And, growing up in my family of 5 (including 3 girls, myself the youngest) meant that the things I did get were typically hand-me-downs of my sisters' leftovers and some gems of items gifted by my mother and grandmothers. Sadly they all didn't all make it out of that world of adolescence with me, but those items I still have make up the majority of my jewelry collection. 

I attended my first year of college at Angelo State University and then transferred to Austin, Tx to graduate from UT with a degree in Economics. Getting to experience living in such a vibrant and creative city really helped me hone my eye for style and gain an amazing level of inspiration from the eclectic styles from the bohemian free spirit to the preppy sorority girls and everything inbetween.

More style inspiration has come from my opportunities to study abroad in South America and in Europe. My Junior year of college I studied abroad in Argentina for a summer semester and loved the handcrafted rustic pieces. In Cordoba I had the pleasure of perusing an amazing outdoor market that showcased some amazing pieces. Saddest thing is that at the time I had no money to get anything, and for some reason didn't have the mind to capture through photos the amazing craftsmanship at that market and another amazing one in Buenos Aires I was able to visit. 

Last summer I had an AMAZING experience visiting Italy, Greece, Bulgaria, and Spain for an International Business study abroad program. We were moving so fast I didn't have much time for shopping, but the time I did have I tried to soak it all in. I couldn't help but gain amazing inspiration from such diverse and beautiful cultures.

So, to those ladies who have that knack for knowing the right pieces for you or the funds to try it all, lucky you. For the rest of us, here goes my adventure into the world of accessories which, hopefully, will result in a more put-together and exciting, me! And off we go!