Pink Letter J

Saturday, January 3, 2015

2015 Already?

The days, weeks, and years seem to be flying by. It's nothing new, I'm sure many of us feel the same way. Even when little seems to be going on I am often in awe of all of the time that has already passed and how this day, too, will too soon simply be a whisper in the wind.

The house is abuzz with just the two of us and our furry friends. Banana bread is baking in the oven giving off a delectable smell that fills the air. The hubby is out back brewing up his latest batch of beer. The pups are off galavanting around. Surely our "borador" (labrador / border collie mix) is covered in mud out back.

It really is beautiful.

Even with all of this bliss I can't help but find myself thinking long and hard about the new year and all that it brings, with new expectations, hope, and stress alike. I've always felt like I needed to do more, be more, produce more in each week and month. However, in my latest job I seem to be doing less and less each day. Not with the work, per se, but with my entire life. It's settling into this comfortable, repetitive, routine. Like the momentum to move forward is slowly and inevitably moving slowly towards wondrous comfort.

I can't complain in the slightest. My job has turned into something I truly love. There is intellectual challenge, design inspiration, and I work with really great people. But... is it utilizing enough of me? Not to be confused with simply stress and ever-mounting responsibilities. No - I am much more concerned with WHAT I am contributing to this small world.

"It isn't enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is - what are we busy about?" -- simply one of my favorite quotes and it always makes me take a step back and try to think about what I am doing each day and the contribution it is making to the bigger picture.

And not to sound materialistic, but I strive for the freedom of the day to day grind. I want to be financially free so that I can travel at the drop of the hat, and travel in style. I want to live in a beautiful home and to be able to shower those I love with gifts. I want to be able to wear clothes that fit me like a glove and make me feel beautiful. I don't want to settle for anything.

Recently I've been feeling a resurgence of my faith. I used to be a devoted young christian, raised in the church by my lovely parents, and memorizing my Bible verses like a good girl. Unfortunately, like many other young rebels, my faith was given a back seat while my selfish youth took over. Looking for the next drama, the next boy, the next party... ugh, it was such a hamster wheel. It was a lot of the same thing - different day - and into a negative direction.

Finally, I'm seeing the light. I'm seeing I need to face my weaknesses, failures, and shortcomings head on. There is no benefit to drowning them in drinks or ignoring them. I'm ready to take my life by the horns and lead it where I really DO want to be. Not simply where I end up.

So, instead of a long list of resolutions, I only have one. I figure only one will be much simpler to keep in clear view than a handful of busybody goals.

My new years resolution will be to: Live a life I'm proud of. So never settle, lower my standards, morals, or my work for easy or good enough. I'm ready to step up to the plate of life and take a hard swing with the bat. Bring it on 2015! I've got a good feeling about you. :)

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